LATerally Thinking

Write Now, Right Now

February 27th, 2023

Writing is not difficult.

Friends rolled their eyes every time I said this.

But I persisted. I keep telling everyone that writing really is not that hard.

If you ever watched the movie Finding Forrester, the Sean Connery character gave a very profound message to his mentee Jamal:

“The key to writing is to write. Thinking comes later.”

We think too much while writing, and that’s why it’s hard. So stop thinking and start writing. Just write whatever you want. Forget grammar spelling or story order. Those will come later, during the edit (when Grammarly or Quillbot comes in). Our problem is that we wanted our first draft to become masterpiece. It’s like expecting a newborn baby to start walking upon arrival.

Just write whatever comes to mind. Nowadays, I journal almost every morning. Thanks to this freewriting, I can now write about almost anything that crosses my mind (or didn’t).

If you can complain, you can write.

But complain properly, in good sentences. Filtered anger can surprisingly become wonderful musing that is a joy to read and whose lessons can be of benefit to mankind. And it can make us look less silly. I know of wonderful souls who can turn daily annoyances into beautiful poems. And while we’re at it, have manners. It’s what differentiates us from rude people whom we try so hard to avoid during traffic jams.

Writing is easy.

Editing is fun.

Writing well is commendable.

Perfect writing doesn’t exist.

Now go write. And it doesn’t have to be a 350-word essay. This is not SPM.
A Little Funny Story

February 25th, 2023

Last Sunday, Nabil, our 11-year-old, asked:

“Ummi, how did you guys meet?”

(Nabil is good at asking interesting questions).

It was a warm Sunday afternoon, and we had just picked him up from karate class.

My wife eagerly told him the usual: about how we were placed in the same 3-month English prep class before being sent to the UK.

“What made you like Ayah?” he probed.

“Well, back then, I thought he WAS funny,” answered his mom.

Ouch.

We were at the traffic light, and I had just enough time to look at her. I stared hard. She saw the look on my face and laughed. She said, “I guess I’ve been had then!” and continued laughing.

We both laughed, except mine didn’t last very long.

She was right.

I realised that I’m less funny now. It is true. And I wonder what made me become less and less funny over these years.

Last month I had lunch with a well-known comedian, and he really was funny. He was funny when we got introduced to each other, when we sat down for lunch, when we talked about his future projects, and when people interrupted him for selfies—hundreds of selfies (somehow group photos don’t mean anything anymore). Even his wife laughed hard at his jokes. He’s a fun and lovable guy. And he entertained everyone who came, even when he was interrupted while having dinner.

I don’t think it’s nice to disturb people having dinner just because you wanted a selfie for your IG. Maybe that’s the reason why I’m not a celebrity.

For almost a week, I thought hard about when did I begin to become less funny.

Some of my friends think I’m funny, which is why I can clown in hospitals. Little did they know that I’m the opposite of funny. I’m serious even when I clown. I’m serious about being a good clown. The same goes for other areas of life. I take all my assignments seriously. Maybe too serious at times. I became a perfectionist. I wanted things to be in order so that I could perform at my best. It is actually through clowning that I reconnect with my fun side.

This morning, my wife asked me what made me like her.

Without skipping a beat, I told her that I thought she was a good listener.

WAS.

She laughed.

“And you ended up with a fixer-upper!” she laughed so hard she almost cried.

Well, I guess I’m becoming funny now.

Funnier than last week, at least.

ps:

The topic where women listen better than men was discussed heavily by relationship counsellor John Gray in his book Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus. Women listen to understand while men will immediately try to offer solutions and fix things. Mariam could possibly come for Mars.
Cheeky Affairs

February 24th, 2023

Yesterday I had another tooth taken out.

My dentist showed the dear thing to me after she extracted it.
It resembled any other normal molar, except for a C-shaped cut that resembled a scar one might receive after having the appendix removed. Maybe it was from the previous fillings.

“There’s nothing much we can do about this one,” my dentist told me. “And it doesn’t serve much purpose: there’s no opposite tooth on the bottom jaw to help you with chewing,” she said.

The said tooth gave me a really painful sting earlier in the morning. I immediately called the clinic for a filling, but to my surprise, I had an extraction. My belief was that dentists would try to preserve teeth as much as possible. One less tooth in our mouth means one less potential client. Not this time. The tooth had to go.

I was really happy that the pain was gone for good, but I also felt a sudden sadness as I got up from the dental chair.

Apart from the literal void of the spot where the tooth used to sit, I also felt a little empty, like the feeling of being left. It’s like a piece of me had left after being together for more than—who knows—40 years? It was there when I grew up; it was there when I was alone, when I was in doubt, when I fell in love—it was with me everywhere, all the time.

Now it’s gone.

My dentist asked if I wanted to take it home since I seemed melancholy about it. I told her I’d be okay. I will write about it. A kind of closure, I guess.
So here I am the next morning, at the airport, awaiting my flight, feeling weird. Something is missing, but I’m not sure what it is.

Slowly and gently, I poked with the tip of my tongue where the tooth was before.

To my surprise, I don’t really feel its absence, like it was never there.
Maybe because it was at the farthest end, and sat at the very back of my mouth.

Maybe that’s how life is. When all is well, no one cares. We only notice it when it’s in bad shape, and we felt the pain.

A lot of people in life are like that. They’re behind the curtains, at the back. Behind the scenes of life. Maybe they don’t look important enough. They’re just behind. Outside the spotlight ring, where no one notices.
But we all know that everything that exists, exists for a reason.

Thank you, tooth.

Maybe this is why you’re called wisdom.
ME, DIA & sosial

February 22nd, 2023

Matlamat media sosial adalah untuk buat untung, sebab mereka entiti bisnes, bukan badan amal/sosial. Dah berlalu zaman Mark Zuckerberg buat Facebook untuk berkenal-kenalan sesama teman kampus. Sekarang META ini syarikat pegangan berhad di NASDAQ dengan hasil USD 85.96 billion (2020). Ia berbisnes, kena buat untung untuk pelabur.

Cara utama mereka buat untung adalah menerusi jualan ruang iklan. Lebih ramai pengguna berdaftar bermakna lebih luas capaian, justeru lebih besar peluang pengiklan untuk dapat pelanggan. Dan cara untuk pastikan lebih banyak iklan dilihat (eyeballs) adalah dengan mengikat mata pengguna agar lebih lama melekat di applikasi. Bagaimana? Sajikan video pendek yang orang suka tengok yang dibuat sendiri oleh pengguna (orang dah malas membaca, layan video lagi sedap). Lagi lama orang tengok, leret (swipe), lagi banyak ruang iklan boleh letak (contoh: setiap video kelima adalah iklan berbayar).

Applikasi pula akan cuba pastikan video yang dimuatnaik itu kekal menarik dengan memberi habuan LIKE dan capaian lebih kepada pembikin. Bagaimana mereka tahu video itu menarik? Apabila kita muatnaik, algoritma akan buat ujian mini dengan mempersembahkan video tadi ke paparan feed 10 peratus daripada kenalan kita. Jika LIKEnya cepat maka video tersebut dianggap menarik dan akan dibuka kepada lebih banyak mata.

Sedihnya apabila kita menjadi terdesak untuk mendapat LIKE (atau dalam kes IG: FOLLOW). Kita paksa diri untuk hasilkan video yang sedap di mata, seronok diLIKE tapi tak menyuburkan benih kebaikan di hati. Menyelerakan untuk ditonton tetapi tiada suapan kepada rohani. Lebih sedih apabila ia memperbodohkan diri atau mengaibkan orang lain.

Banyak benda baik boleh dijana melalui media sosial. Samalah benda buruk pun.
Mudah Terhibur/Senang Bersyukur

February 17th, 2023

Ada seorang kawan, sangat mudah gembira dengan apa yang dia nikmati.

Apabila ada rakan sepejabat bawa juadah untuk kongsi beramai-ramai, dia paling akhir yang jamah tapi orang pertama yang puji sedap.

Apabila lihat hasil kerja kita, pujiannya yang paling mengagumkan.

Dalam How to Calm Your Mind, Chris Bailey menyarankan satu teknik supaya jiwa lebih tenang. Namanya SAVOURING. Dalam Bahasa Melayu: Menikmati.

Apabila makan, benar-benar rasai manis masin tawar pedas umami. Ambil masa untuk kunyah, tak perlu gopoh. Apabila keluar rumah, nikmati cuaca yang cerah dan langit biru (pejam mata dan hirup udara ala-ala iklan tv tidak dimestikan). Apabila naik lif, abaikan desakan dopamin untuk buka TikTok dan reel sosmed. Lihat saja nombor tingkat bertambah dan terima kasih kepada Tuhan kerana ada kemudahan dan tak perlu susah payah panjat tangga ke tingkat 15.

Hidup akan lebih aman katanya.

Kawan kami tadi, kami gelarkannya Si Mudah Terhibur.

Tapi dialah sebenarnya yang paling mudah bersyukur.

Rezeki juga dapat kawan begini.
Ringkasan yang Ringkas

February 15th, 2023

Sepanjang ulang-alik KL-Kelantan setahun dua yang lepas, saya berjaya dengar hampir 92 buku.

Kini jumlah masa memandu bukan lagi 22 jam seminggu, tapi cuma 30 minit sehala.

Kalau dulu saya mendengar buku yang dibacakan sepenuhnya (purata satu tajuk mengambil masa 5 jam), sekarang saya cari jalan lain untuk dengar buku secara lebih pendek.

Penyelesaian: dengar audiobook Headway dan Blinkist (cuma 15-20 minit untuk sebuah buku).

Boleh habis dengar sebuah buku sebelum tiba ofis.

Cuma ada satu masalah: buku yang telah diringkaskan itu isinya agak padat. Setiap ayat menjadi lebih penting dan wajib.

Bagaimana cara Blinkist meringkaskan buku? Ambil semua perkara dan pendekkan?

Tidak, mereka cuma ambil satu contoh dari satu isi idea dan hanya ceritakan yang itu. Isi lain yang kurang penting atau sekadar menopang diabaikan terus.

Begitu jugalah agaknya dengan perbualan: pilih-pilih juga topik yang sesuai. Dan pilih-pilih juga apa yang patut cerita. Tidak perlu kisahkan semua.

Penceritaan yang padat bukanlah tulisan yang telah dirumus, tetapi terhasil daripada satu pilihan yang patut.

Selamat Menyunting!

Brevity doesn’t come from compression, but from selection.
– Roy Peter Clark
Opinions/Truths

February 13th, 2023

Having to explain what I just read to friends gave me two amazing opportunities: to test my own understanding of a subject and to see how good I am at explaining difficult concepts to different people.

And it’s always a blessing to hear honest feedback and opinions, especially when they go against what I’ve recently come to believe and think.

Why?

Because untested opinions/beliefs will always remain true.

“A wise person sometimes changes his mind, but a fool never does.” – Proverb.
Now is a Gift

February 11th, 2023

It is said that three things pass through our minds: emotions, sensations, and thoughts.

And of those thoughts, our mind will either be in one of these three locations: the past, the future, or the present (now).

Try observing your thoughts once in a while. Are you feeling sad about what a friend SAID to you this morning? You’re in the past. Worrying what the client WILL think about your new ideas? You’re in the future.

So how do we stay in the now?

By being present.

How do we become present?

In one of the hospital clowning exercises, participants were asked to just look at and observe the palms of their hands:

Examine the wrinkles, folds, color, and odor. Smell it. Touch it with the other hand; how does it feel? Look at the back of it.

If you truly immerse yourself in observing it without thinking about other things, then you are actually being present.

Being present takes practice.

Here’s one non-clown exercise:

The next time we sit at the table/office meeting/mamak with a friend, listen to him/her talking. Face him/her with both eyes and ears fully engaged. Listen. Don’t plan what to say (because then you’re already in the future). Be here, Be present. Never touch your phone. Place it somewhere else or inside your pocket.

By being present, we give our friend a very expensive gift:

The gift of listening.

Be here now, be someplace else later.
All in a Day’s Work

February 7th, 2023

I’ve had the pleasure of training people to do creative work and social media management over the last few months.

At one point during one of the discussions, I stopped whatever I was doing, looked up at my client’s staff that I’ve been training, and said:

“What we’re doing here is nothing more than being kind to each other.”

It’s not about how much we can get done with these mounting tasks by the end of today. Work will never end. More to-dos will be added. Goals will move. New objectives will be set. In the end, no one will care about how much we have produced. Rather, how kind we treat each other along the way—that’s what truly matters.

Work is one of the ways that we strangers connect. Without this work or project, we may never have crossed paths, gotten to know one another, and helped raise each other’s game.

I’m here to help you become the best version of yourself, and in doing so, I’ll become the best version of myself as well.

So let us just enjoy whatever we have at hand, take a deep breath, and thank Allah for this moment.

She agreed.

“Now get back to work.”
Wanderfully Bored

February 5th, 2023

Yesterday, I finished Malcolm Gladwell’s Talking to Strangers when the plane was about to land.

There’s nothing else I could do at this point (electronics/digital devices aren’t allowed), so I decided to just stare blankly at the wall in front of me.

I’m starting to get bored after a few moments. Normally I would reach for the phone (aren’t we all?), but the thought of being apprehended by the flight attendant didn’t look appealing, so I decided to stay in that bored state and continue staring at the wall.

Outside, the plane was fast descending to the runway, but from where I was sitting, time seemed to stand still.

Then surprisingly, some nice ideas came to mind.

Sitting around doing nothing is not considered unproductive, says Chris Bailey. It is actually a much needed break from focused thinking where you allow your mind to wander (berangan?). In his book Hyperfocus, he calls this scatterfocus. It is this mind-wondering state that leads our thoughts to interesting places. This allows our brain, –otherwise busy with tasks at hand—to relax. It can bring us solutions for some old problems, cool new ideas for some challenging client requests, and above all else: helps put things in better perspectives.

This time, it gave me some ideas on what to write about. I needed to jot them down somewhere, but realised that my analog notebook is tucked away in the overhead compartment.

Well, I guess I’ll just have to live with the blank wall.

Maybe all of us could benefit from being bored once in a while. Refrain from picking up the phone to check messages or the social media whenever you feel bored. Don’t. Let this this run for a day or two and see how much the world misses you.

Or didn’t.

P.s; being bored is not the same as being boring. One is sinful, the other’s not. 😜